Heine Rammsteiner (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
chaineddog) wrote2012-08-01 02:30 pm
chaineddog) wrote2012-08-01 02:30 pm
Entry tags:
❝ headcanon ❞
Could contain potential triggers. Bewaaaareeee tl;dr and forever under construction.
The Early Days
Post-Escape
As mentioned in canon, Heine was found by Bishop after he fell off city hall in the center of town and nursed back to health by him. For this reason, Heine found himself indebted to Bishop in a way he couldn't describe, sure he still thought that guy was a bit weird and crazy as hell, but you don't exactly turn your back on the guy that saved your life. Even so, it was difficult for Heine to learn how to trust again and it took time for him to see that people were capable of caring for him in a non-creepy, 'I want you to be the ruler of our new world' way.
Essentially, Heine remembers little of how he actually escape. Cerberus probably had a hand in helping him get out and when Heine finally regained control, he was no longer in the Underground and he passed out shortly thereafter. Bishop helped with his recovery and Heine probably was passed out cold for at least a good week or so with the few times when he woke up in a cold sweat thanks to the trauma. It took him a while to get back on his feet - not because he was physically injured that horribly, but because his body was still getting used to the Ruler spine and he himself wasn't ready to face the outside world. He almost killed Bishop when he woke up because he had no idea where he was but he was quickly subdued before any real permanent damage could be done.
When he was healthy again, he began to wander with the intention of finding his way back to the Underground to finish off Angelika himself. Bishop let him, mostly knowing that he wouldn't be able to stop Heine. He had a knack for getting out of situations and places and who was he to argue with that?
Suicide
Heine did try. He tried so many times that he lost count, but he kept a mental list of all the things that he had tried in an attempt to do the process of elimination. In the end, everything he tried ended in failure.
It was shortly after Bishop had nursed him back to health that he considered the thought of killing himself. He was in a state of despair and he couldn't bear to look at himself knowing what he had done. He pulled a bit of a Macbeth and saw blood on his hands wherever he went and it drove him mad to the point where he almost cut them off. Bishop had stopped him before he had gotten the machete into his hands and any and all sharp objects had been locked away for weeks after that. His first attempt had been throwing himself off of a bridge into an oncoming train. His body hurt like hell after, and he couldn't walk very far for a couple of days, but he still wasn't dead. He woke up with a crowd of people around him and bolted out of there as soon as he could, blood trailing after him as he went.
His second attempt had been slitting his wrists; maybe bleeding himself out would work. But that hadn't succeeded either. He had bled out - but he had woken up in a pool of his own blood several hours later and to the sound of Bishop banging on the bathroom door. It had taken months for the blood stain to fade away from the bathroom floor. His third attempt had been pills. They weren't hard to come by living so close to the Underground. He mixed so many different drugs together that it should have killed a normal person ten times over - except he wasn't normal and he came back to life, puking up the cocktail of toxins he had shoved into his system. Heine was left bedridden for a week after that, his body naturally getting rid of the drugs. Even if it hadn't, he figured he would have made himself puke it out. Hospitals were always out of the question.
He tried everything: hanging himself, depriving himself of oxygen, getting intentionally stabbed in the stomach, running out in front of a car - after a while it became a sick little game to him. He tried things twice, three times, even four just to make sure or at least that's what he told himself. In a way, it was just something to see if he was still capable of feeling. The final and last time he ever tried had been in the middle of a fit and he had pulled a gun on Bishop before turning it on himself. A shot to the head. He had thought that of all things would do him in but it hadn't. He had woken up in bed, bandages wrapped around the wound. Something changed in him after that. Maybe it was the fact that not even that could put him out of his misery or maybe because he saw how Bishop refused to say more than one word answers to him for several weeks after the fact. Either way, he stopped his attempts at trying to kill himself.
If there was no way to kill him then clearly the universe was trying to tell him to suck it up and keep on living.
Cerberus/The Dog
Women
Relationships
The Early Days
Post-Escape
As mentioned in canon, Heine was found by Bishop after he fell off city hall in the center of town and nursed back to health by him. For this reason, Heine found himself indebted to Bishop in a way he couldn't describe, sure he still thought that guy was a bit weird and crazy as hell, but you don't exactly turn your back on the guy that saved your life. Even so, it was difficult for Heine to learn how to trust again and it took time for him to see that people were capable of caring for him in a non-creepy, 'I want you to be the ruler of our new world' way.
Essentially, Heine remembers little of how he actually escape. Cerberus probably had a hand in helping him get out and when Heine finally regained control, he was no longer in the Underground and he passed out shortly thereafter. Bishop helped with his recovery and Heine probably was passed out cold for at least a good week or so with the few times when he woke up in a cold sweat thanks to the trauma. It took him a while to get back on his feet - not because he was physically injured that horribly, but because his body was still getting used to the Ruler spine and he himself wasn't ready to face the outside world. He almost killed Bishop when he woke up because he had no idea where he was but he was quickly subdued before any real permanent damage could be done.
When he was healthy again, he began to wander with the intention of finding his way back to the Underground to finish off Angelika himself. Bishop let him, mostly knowing that he wouldn't be able to stop Heine. He had a knack for getting out of situations and places and who was he to argue with that?
Suicide
Heine did try. He tried so many times that he lost count, but he kept a mental list of all the things that he had tried in an attempt to do the process of elimination. In the end, everything he tried ended in failure.
It was shortly after Bishop had nursed him back to health that he considered the thought of killing himself. He was in a state of despair and he couldn't bear to look at himself knowing what he had done. He pulled a bit of a Macbeth and saw blood on his hands wherever he went and it drove him mad to the point where he almost cut them off. Bishop had stopped him before he had gotten the machete into his hands and any and all sharp objects had been locked away for weeks after that. His first attempt had been throwing himself off of a bridge into an oncoming train. His body hurt like hell after, and he couldn't walk very far for a couple of days, but he still wasn't dead. He woke up with a crowd of people around him and bolted out of there as soon as he could, blood trailing after him as he went.
His second attempt had been slitting his wrists; maybe bleeding himself out would work. But that hadn't succeeded either. He had bled out - but he had woken up in a pool of his own blood several hours later and to the sound of Bishop banging on the bathroom door. It had taken months for the blood stain to fade away from the bathroom floor. His third attempt had been pills. They weren't hard to come by living so close to the Underground. He mixed so many different drugs together that it should have killed a normal person ten times over - except he wasn't normal and he came back to life, puking up the cocktail of toxins he had shoved into his system. Heine was left bedridden for a week after that, his body naturally getting rid of the drugs. Even if it hadn't, he figured he would have made himself puke it out. Hospitals were always out of the question.
He tried everything: hanging himself, depriving himself of oxygen, getting intentionally stabbed in the stomach, running out in front of a car - after a while it became a sick little game to him. He tried things twice, three times, even four just to make sure or at least that's what he told himself. In a way, it was just something to see if he was still capable of feeling. The final and last time he ever tried had been in the middle of a fit and he had pulled a gun on Bishop before turning it on himself. A shot to the head. He had thought that of all things would do him in but it hadn't. He had woken up in bed, bandages wrapped around the wound. Something changed in him after that. Maybe it was the fact that not even that could put him out of his misery or maybe because he saw how Bishop refused to say more than one word answers to him for several weeks after the fact. Either way, he stopped his attempts at trying to kill himself.
If there was no way to kill him then clearly the universe was trying to tell him to suck it up and keep on living.
Cerberus/The Dog
Women
Relationships